We are back to distance learning. Three kids, two of whom don’t read, one of whom doesn’t talk. All of whom need. I am not adjusting with any semblance of grace, but I thought I’d try to write something humorous or at least light in tone for each day that they are home, from the beginning of distance learning until the end. Seventeen days. Seventeen installments.
Here’s the first one.
I call it…
Noise Canceling
Don’t bother Mommy.
She’s got her earbuds in.
You know what that means.
It means we can do what we
want, and she
won’t hear it.
They’re noise-canceling.
Did you know that?
It means they
cancel out
noise.
That means noise
doesn’t exist when she’s
wearing them.
I don’t know why she
doesn’t wear them all the time.
Yes, we can do that
now while she’s got her
noise-canceling earbuds in.
And yes, we can do that,
too.
But probably not that.
No, we shouldn’t do that.
Not even if she has her earbuds in.
That seems dangerous.
I know, usually that’s fun.
But really.
Get off of there.
No. No, don’t do that.
Don’t unload the dishes.
That’s OK.
I know you’re trying to help.
But I don’t think she’d
like that.
No, put that back.
Hey, Mommy? Mama?
No, stop it.
Don’t do that.
I mean it, don’t!
Mom! Mom!
Help! Help me!
I said stop!
Mom! I need help!
Help me!
Oh shit.
I shouldn’t have said that.
Glad she didn’t hear it.